Bottom of the Sea

I stand on the beach and look out into the ocean. The waves are getting big now. I see the beauty in it all, the way the earth moves to make something so simple look so beautiful. The way they crash over into the water suffocating any sign of life. I feel my feet sinking into the sand, holding me where it must. I use everything I have to run into the water. I run for the works of life. I run from the misunderstood girl that I had left on the beach. I would no longer be that girl. I stop now water up to my waste. I look up as the wave crashes down on me. I feel my feet come out from under me and the wave wraps around me. I feel like I’m in a dream, it seems like minutes under the water until I come to the top for air. I breathe in and stand back up as another wave comes crashing down around me. As before the wave encloses me. I swim to the top and keep walking. I was stronger than this. I heard the yelling from the beach. It was him. It was Far Away he told me to come back and everything would change. This just made me go faster. I wanted away. I wanted to be happy. I stopped and looked up at him. He wasn’t coming for me so I kept going. 
I could see the still water behind the waves. That is where I was headed; I would swim until I couldn’t swim anymore. I would start over; I would forget what the last four years had done to me. I would pretend nothing had happened. I would be happy. I still heard the yelling no more than the one voice I feared. I swam under the wave as it crashed down. This time it did not send me spinning. I came back up and kept swimming, I was almost there. I turned around and looked one last time and saw the face of my old lover. He was no longer yelling he was on his knees shaking. I knew he was crying. As one last wave enclosed me I fade away to the bottom of the sea.